"Music is my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness." -Maya Angelou
I haven't been on here in FOREVER!! As my friends say, I have fell off the face of the earth. Which happens from time to time with me. I know how to disappear, and I don't mean to do it, but I do. I usually disappear when I've had a busy week, because usually its me trying to catch up on sleep I missed. It's been a long past two weeks!
I had two tests, Chemistry and Biology, and I actually think I did okay on them. I also took Kapper to the vet, which was an interesting experience. He did okay, but gave me the most pissed off looks...ha ha. That dog has the craziest personality. But I love him. The vet I take him too is open till 2 a.m. which is really nice and is right the down the street from where I live. Its pretty convenient.
I also signed up for classes for next semester, which is going to consist of A LOT of photography classes and a German cooking class!!! Hopefully it will be a lot of fun, better than this semester!
I'm still doing the internship at ALIVE and its going well. I hopefully will be able to get more out of it like maybe shadowing photographers more and touching up photos, so I can get ready for maybe assisting a photographer here in Saint Louis, yes I said it, I will mention that in a second. But ALIVE is fun, you get to meet people you wouldn't be able to anywhere else, and I am going to stay with them for another semester. Just yesterday afternoon we (the photo interns) were offered the chance to go to a radio station here and photograph Will Smith, first to respond got it, but my phone didn't get the email till 2 hours after!! So I wasn't able to do it! I was really bummed!
About the whole finding an assistant job here in the lou, yes, I'm probably going to stay here for a little bit after I graduate, and by a little bit I mean a year or more. I kind of had a little break down with my mom about finding a job, how I was going to do it, because I'm not able to focus my attention on me finding a job like everyone else is. My two science courses are causing this cloud.
But I was just stressing out because I had no idea WHERE I was going and HOW I was going to get there, especially with the economy we are at now. There are just NO JOBS for photographers unless your a wedding photographer, especially in the midwest. All the jobs are in New York and LA, and I would love to just up and go, but at the same time, I know how unresponsible that would be and I'm just scared to do it, bottom line.
A photographer came into my professional developlment class and he had moved to NY and came back, but assisted a famous photographer in NY who had done alot of Time Magazine covers. He was saying how assisting isn't that bad of a gig, because you learn alot, and network alot. He said he usually gets 3 shoots a year, and only got 2 this year, and he has a pretty big resume, so I could only imagine how it would be with someone just entering the field!
It just stressed me out, but I thought about it, and I REALLY dont feel comfortable doing a photoshoot all on my own! The way the guy put it, as a photographer for a magazine, your handed a celebrity, and given a day to shoot, they put the whole thing in your hands, which can be fun, but you need to know what your doing! I have only taken one studio class and i really dont think I know enough to just go out there in the real world and do something like that. I would really screw up things and could screw up my name and reputation. SO.
I have decided that the more responsible thing to do, would be to stay in the lou, and find a assistant job, since I have a great internship to find those type of connections, why not use it to my full advantage! Plus cost of living here is alot cheaper, and I may still be struggling to get a place to live or a job, but atleast here I know bad neighborhoods from good and all that. Plus as an assistant I will be able to learn more and get more comfortable with my photography. Im young, most photographers dont even get to Annie Leibovitz level till their 30's, I still have time.
Its just good to know that I have a direction to go in know, my future is not totally a blank. I know I'm going to stay here, I know of places I already want to live, and I know some prospect photographers and studios I can ask to assist. BUT ANYWAY, that's been my past two weeks, in a nutshell of course.
I know I say over and over I'm going to get on here more often, but I really will! I just needed to get some stuff straightened out, which I did, and now I kind of know what I need to do. Hopefully I can now find the time to get to this thing and update once in a while! I HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL!! And keep checking my blog every few days! Dont give up on me and not posting, I will try to get better! Its just been a crazy semester! I guess thats what happens when its your senior year! The road you see keeps going out of your college life, and you have to struggle and find how to drive into it and what direction to take, ITS ALOT TO TAKE ON! :) especially with an art major (photography) like me, but i cant help my passion and pray for me that I can make it and find my niche!!
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